


Catch me

by Butterbeerandbutterknives



Category: Glee
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Season/Series 02, Suicide, slight AU, suicidal kurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Butterbeerandbutterknives/pseuds/Butterbeerandbutterknives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt just wanted something to be easy for once. Trigger Warning for suicide/ suicidal idealization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch me

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this! Please, please take notice of the TW. Also, criticism is always appreciated! Thanks for reading :)

Don’t do this  
(It would be so easy)  
Don’t let them break you  
(They already have)  
Don’t surrender  
(Just let yourself fall)  
Don’t back down  
(Let the numbness take you)  
(It’s just one step)  
(One… Little…Step)  
(Then the pain will stop)  
(Do it)  
Don’t do it  
(Do it)  
Don’t end it like this  
(Sleep, Kurt. One step and then you can sleep.)  
Don’t let them win.  
(Aren’t you tired, Kurt?)  
Don’t let them win  
(You must be cold, Kurt. You’ve been up here for hours, Kurt.)  
Don’t let evil win  
(One step, and you’ll be warm again)  
Don’t do this to Blaine  
Call Blaine  
Call Blaine  
Call Blaine  
“Oh, hey Kurt! Thad is actually making us use David’s sleepover to rehearse despite it being a time when normal people are in bed, so do you think-“  
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice is shaky and weak.  
“Kurt? Are you okay? Did Karofsky hurt you?” Blaine’s voice is frantic and Kurt can hear the sound his bare feet make as he jogs into another room.  
‘’I-“ Kurt says not really sure what to say. “I’m not hurt, yet.” He swallows his tears.  
(It’s just one step)  
“Yet?” Blaine asks. “Where are you?”  
Don’t do it  
“School.” He says. “I-I’ve been here for a couple hours.’’  
(You don’t have to be there any longer. Let yourself fall)  
“But you said you weren’t hurt.” Kurt can hear the confusion in Blaine’s voice.  
Don’t you want to be on Broadway?  
“I’m on the roof.”  
“Kurt-“ There’s urgency in Blaine’s voice. “I need you to do something very important for me. Are you standing on the edge?”  
(You want to see your mother again, don’t you? Your father will be joining you soon anyway)  
“Yeah.” Kurt sniffs.  
“Will you back up? Try to go inside, It’s cold outside.” Blaine says.  
“I don’t- I don’t think I can.”  
Don’t let yourself be another gay suicide statistic  
“Can you sit down? I’m on my way now, I’ll be there soon.”  
(Come with me, Kurt)  
“Okay.” Kurt sits himself down, feet hanging over the edge. “God, Blaine. Even now, it- it would be so easy.” Kurt sobs, because nothing been easy in a long, long, time. “Everything’s so hard. My mom dying was hard. The bullies are hard. My dad being comatose is hard. Is it too much to ask for to want one thing that’s easy? All I would have to do is tip forward, like when I was learning how to dive as a kid.” He sobs some more. “I don’t- I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want to be in pain anymore.”  
Don’t be selfish  
Blaine murmurs soft words, pleading for him to calm down, and then he’s there, with Wes trailing behind. Blaine yanks Kurt away from the edge and into his arms, wrapping his coat around him. “What do you say we go to your house, okay?”  
“They took it. I- I couldn’t pay the hospital bills and the mortgage at the same time. I’ve been sleeping in the garage.” Kurt admits.  
(Let yourself sleep)  
“We’ll go to Dalton, then.’’ Blaine says.  
Kurt allows himself to be led to what must be Wes’ BMW, because he’s seen Blaine’s car before and that’s not it. “I’m so tired.” Kurt yawns when they finally reach it.  
“Sleep.” Blaine says gently. “I’m here.”  
Kurt wakes up what feels like a lifetime later to a cool washcloth being pressed to his forehead.  
“Hey there, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling? You’re running quite the fever there.” Blaine says softly.  
“I-“ Kurt starts to answer, but a coughing fit racks his body. Blaine helps him sit up so it’s a little easier to manage before sliding him back down. “I’m alright.”  
“Wes thought you might be waking up soon, so he went to make you some soup and toast with the help of Trent. Do you remember Trent from the movie night we had?”  
“Yeah.” Kurt croaks.  
“He’s met you once and he already cares about you. The same goes for Nick, Jeff, David and all the other’s that you’ve met.” Blaine says, and then, after a pause, adds; “Kurt, You are one of the kindest, funniest, sassiest, bravest and strongest people I know.” Blaine’s eyes are wet with tears. “And I- I don’t know what I would have done if you had done it. I’m so, so, glad you called me.”  
“I- god, Blaine, I just- wanted it to stop hurting.” Kurt says.  
“There are other ways.” Blaine says. “Nick did some digging and pulled up your records and you got a full cheerleading scholarship to Dalton. I pulled some strings and you and I are roomies. When the nurse gets back from the seminar she’s attending we’ll get you checked out an after that you’re talking to one of the Warbler’s dad, who’s a therapist.”  
“But-“  
“No buts, Kurt. We all want to do this.” Blaine says. “Now, do you want to watch a movie or go back to sleep?”  
“Don’t sleep until after you’ve had some soup!” Wes interrupts. “The toast is currently in the sink where Trent is trying to put out the flames.”  
“You didn’t have to do this, Wes.” Kurt says.  
“Nonsense.” Wes says. “I wanted to.” He sets to bowl on the bedside table, patting Kurt’s knee. “I’m going to go raid the movie room’s DVD collection. Blaine says you like musicals, any preferences?’’  
“No.” Kurt says.  
Wes leaves, and Blaine picks up the bowl. “Here;” He says gently. “Eat, you need your strength.” When Kurt finds his hands are shaking too hard to keep any liquid on is spoon, he lets Blaine take over.  
Because he knows Blaine will always take care of him.  
Nine full days, four visits to the nurse where he lets his cough start to heal and his weight criticized, eleven phone calls, Two visits to the psychiatrist who’s Warbler child Kurt has yet to meet, and one prescription for anti- depressants later, Kurt is finally ready for his first day of classes at Dalton. After pulling on his uniform, doing his hair and coughing a little too long at his hairspray, he and Blaine walk into the cafeteria, Blaine all the while telling him that if at any point he feels like it’s getting to be too much, physically or mentally, he can back out and no one will mind.  
“I’m fine, Blaine.” Kurt tells him.  
“You’re still coughing.” Blaine points out. “And the nurse said you don’t eat enough.”  
“If I feel like I’m getting sicker, I’ll tell you, okay?” Kurt says while sipping his coffee.  
“What if you’re in French?” Blaine says. “I take Italian.”  
“Then I’ll tell the teacher. I also don’t have P.E until next week, and I plan on making good use of my free hour to take a nap.”  
“I just-“ Blaine says, pausing. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”  
“I think.” Kurt says, slipping his hand into Blaine’s. “That I’ll be okay.”  
Kurt knows from the small smile Blaine gives him that the hazel- eyed boy knows that the junior isn’t just talking about the school day.  
Some days are really, really bad.  
The days when Kurt’s nightmares haunt him and he spends hours begging Blaine to let him go. Once, Blaine is still studying in the practice room when Kurt come running in, sobbing and apologizing and bleeding all over the blazer that Blaine just sent to the dry cleaners three days ago. But Blaine just rips his blazer off and presses it to the cut on Kurt’s wrist while Wes runs to get the nurse and a few of the others start singing a lullaby in five part harmony, hoping to ease the sobs racking the pale boy’s body.  
But this is not Kurt’s last day.  
After this, Kurt and Blaine are inseparable, and all the razors and pills that were in their room move to Wes and David’s dorm.  
The day when the Warblers go to a mall in Columbus and Kurt has a panic attack because Karofsky is there and tries to push him down the stairs is not his last day. He’s shaky and weak and doesn’t eat for nearly three days afterwards, but he lives. He survives, he moves on. And soon, Kurt finds that for every bad day, he starts to have two, really, really good days.  
Like the day his father wakes up.  
When Kurt’s pulled out of Math, he’s certain it’s because something terrible has happened. But, instead, the headmaster tells him that his dad is awake and Kurt doesn’t remember anything else, he just remembers holding his Father’s hand and rousing him from his much- needed sleep because he needs proof. They sob together in happiness for what feels like hours.  
The day Kurt transfers back to McKinley is a good day.  
The bullying hasn’t stopped, but the New Directions feel so guilty that Santana blackmailed Karofsky into transferring to Thurston High, the boys have formed a secret service like barrier around him, and the girls are always around to offer words of encouragement, and laments that they didn’t see his almost- attempt coming.  
But it’s good, because this is where he belongs and when he’s close to home he can keep an eye on his dad. He misses Blaine, but he knows that this is what he needs to do.  
The day that Blaine asks him out is a very, very good one.  
Kurt is sitting in the back row of the choir room, where they’re all waiting for Mr.Schue to come in. The door opens, and instead of WMHS’ Spanish teacher walking through the door alone, he comes with all the warblers, minus Blaine. They start singing the background track to a song that Kurt can’t quite place, and when the time for the verse comes, Blaine appears from the hallway.  
“Oh my Go-“ Kurt is cut off by Blaine’s voice singing sweetly.  
“You think I’m pretty, without any makeup on.”  
So at the end of Teenage Dream, when Blaine takes his hand and asks, “Kurt Hummel, will you do me the honor of going to Breadstix with me this Friday?” All Kurt can do is let out a breathy laugh and reply;  
“Pick me up at six.”  
When their lips meet, Kurt decides that this is the first kiss that he’s going to count.  
And it’s in that moment that Kurt has never been happier that he didn’t step off the roof, because, as clique as it sounds, life gets better.


End file.
